Motherhood and the Priesthood

I have had a lot of opportunity this last month to think about motherhood and the priesthood. (reading a friend’s blog, my mom sending me an article about it, discussing it in a meeting, a few random posts on facebook, and teaching a lesson to the Young Women about the priesthood.) I have really wanted to organize my thoughts for awhile and now finally have some time to do it. This is not even close to all the thoughts I have had on the subject, but it would be impossible for me to be all inclusive, so I am just sharing the ones I thought were the most important. I will list some of the main sources I have been studying at the bottom, for anyone that is interested in seeing where some of my thoughts came from and/or studying it further for their own interests.

To put things in some sort of context, I’m going to start out with this petition to Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide. Consider it a verbal object lesson, if you will. I have copied it below:

“This petition is for the complete ban of Dihydrogen monoxide. 

“Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death. 

“Dihydrogen monoxide:

• is the major component of acid rain
• contributes to the "greenhouse effect"
• it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
• contributes to erosion
• accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals
• may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes
• has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients

“Despite the dangers, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

• as an industrial solvent and coolant.
• in nuclear power plants.
• in the production of styrofoam.
• as a fire retardant.
• in many forms of cruel animal research.
• as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.

“Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. 

“The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its ‘importance to the economic health of this nation.’ In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.”

Alarming, right? Yes, very, until you realize that Dihydrogen monoxide is another name for water. And yet, if you go back and look at everything said about it, it is all technically true. But being technically true doesn't mean it is actually true. Successfully banning water would obviously destroy the human race.

I want to compare this to motherhood and the priesthood. There are many things said today about womanhood, motherhood, the priesthood and other gospel topics. Many of these things are true by themselves and therefore difficult to dispute at face value. My hope here is that I can share some of my beliefs in a manner that is true not only at face value, but also in the context of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

First, let’s look at the priesthood in relationship to creation. M. Russell Ballard states “the power by which the heavens and earth were and are created is the priesthood.” Pretty straightforward. For motherhood, from Julie Beck, “Mothers who know desire to bear children”. Also pretty straightforward. (not that we need a quote for that. All of us know that women are able to bear children and men are not)

Okay, so through the priesthood, the earth is created, and through motherhood, people are created.
Which is more important? The people or the earth? One of my wonderful young women, when I posed this question to them, said, “Well, obviously you need both!” And I couldn’t say it much better than that. Much of the dialogue (from both sides) that I hear about motherhood and priesthood power seems to try to put them in competition with each other. Priesthood is better because …..this, this and this. But women shouldn’t feel bad, because their role is more important because....this, this and this. And so it goes on. The fact is, there need be no competition. They are both equally important. God designed men and women to fulfill different complementing roles in his plan.

Now that we are here on earth, God has given us specific roles. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, we read, “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.”

So, God has given us a standard to strive for. Fathers preside and provide necessities and protection. Mothers nurture their children. This makes a lot of sense to me and seems consistent with the roles men and women played before. Women create the children and then care for them. Priesthood power initially created the world, and now those who hold that priesthood are specifically responsible to provide shelter and protection for these children. I don’t know why God chose to do it this way, but I do know that I have been really blessed as I have tried to align my life with these roles and standards.

I want to revisit the petition above. When we hear about misfortunes concerning water, whether those misfortunes come from misuse (cruel animal experiments), ignorance (drowning), or naturally occurring events (like tsunami’s and freezing conditions), we don’t assume that water was created imperfectly and try to change its properties. Instead, we try to learn more about how to use its power, prevent negative uses of it, and prepare against those things that we can’t control. There are also misfortunes concerning priesthood power and motherhood. These misfortunes can come in the form of misuse/sin (either by ourselves or others), ignorance (not fully understanding our roles or just imperfectly carrying out our roles), or things that just happen (never having the opportunity to marry or not being able to have children). But oftentimes, instead of making adaptations like it says in the proclamation, we try to convince ourselves (and others) that God just messed it up and created an imperfect system or we attempt to try to redefine these roles.

There are also situations where people don’t have water as easily accessible as we do here in the United States. There are places in Africa where the women walk miles every day in order to get water for themselves and their families. Similarly, there are those that don’t have easy access to priesthood power. Maybe there isn’t a priesthood holder in their home, or they live in a home where the mother isn’t there to nurture the children. We don’t try to help the women in Africa feel better about their distance from the water by telling them that water isn’t very important, or that they don’t really need it. We help them by sending people that have the tools and the resources to purify the water and bring it closer to home.

The thing is, God knew that we would not always be able to reach the ideals he set out for us. But He perfectly accounted for that by sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us. Through His suffering and death, He made every blessing available to anyone who chooses to come to Him. So, the answer isn’t to try to change the way God set things up. That only takes people farther from Christ and by so doing, actually deprives them of the opportunities to have the things that humans very naturally yearn for--the yearning to be loved, to belong, to be needed. It can potentially send people on an endless search for “self fulfilment”. But because that search is based on a plan that differs from God’s, it often, if not always, ends in tragedy.

God’s ideal, however, actually does end in self fulfilment, even though it does require a large amount of sacrifice. It seems a little counter-intuitive, and yet I have found it to be true many times in my life. One of the most poignant times was when I decided to quit my job when Brad was a year old. It would be impossible for me to name all the blessings that came from that decision, but I would like to share a couple of the major ones.

The most visible blessings have been financial. One of my first concerns is that we wouldn’t be able to afford for me to quit. We did make some cuts and some sacrifices which seemed major at the time, but to be honest, I can’t actually remember what they are now. But the biggest miracle we have seen financially is that even though we are making less, Mike graduates this summer, and as of yet, we have not had to use any of our student loans.

Most of the other blessings are not as visible, but they are very real to us. Some of those include more time to spend together as a family, which means Mike and I have many more opportunities to remember why we like each other. Our house is generally cleaner (I still have my days, and sometimes my weeks. Ironically, they usually come when I pick up a random design job here and there, which I do from home on occasion). I have more time for my hobbies, both at night after the boys go to sleep and during their naps, and therefore I feel more fulfilled. I have time to exercise. Mike also has more time for his hobbies and enjoys going to play basketball once a week with some friends. It is easier not to resent each other for that time, because we both have it and we aren’t so burned out.

Anyway, I could go on for a long time, but I won’t bore you all. I just really believe that anytime we spend our energy changing ourselves to follow God’s guidelines, we are blessed.



Sources I read and studied that contributed to my thoughts and conclusions. (Great sources, all of them!)

Are we not All Mothers?

It is not Good for Man to be Alone
This is My Work and My Glory
Mothers who Know
The Powers of Heaven
Drink Deeply of the Living Waters